“I can not die before my book is published”

Well, what a week it’s been.

So, as some of you are only too aware, I was pregnant with my first child. Was. That’s a past tense as of December 20th when my son, Nathan, became much less of an abstract concept and I almost became much more of one. Rest assured, however, thanks to my awesome husband and the miracle of modern medicine I am not posting this from beyond the grave. Both Nate and I are fine (though Nathan is not a happy camper to be here quite this early, but he’ll get over it), and although I’m spending Christmas in the hospital, I’m alive, my kid’s alive, and that’s the best present I could ask for.

What happened was eclampsia, an extreme and sudden case. Saturday night I had a bad headache and nausea, but that’s not so unusual for third trimester, so I wasn’t really worried. I threw up and went to bed… and woke up the next morning in the hospital with my husband telling me the baby is fine and I’m like “baby? what are you talking about?” Turns out I’d had a seizure and woken my husband, who called 911 when he couldn’t wake me. Since the only cure for eclampsia is getting the baby out, I’d had an emergency C-section as soon as I arrived at the hospital.

As the nurse is explaining all this and my husband is hugging me (I have the best husband ever, guys), my brain is going a million miles a second with everything that could have happened. She finishes the story with something like “you’re so lucky to be alive” and my first thought, before anything else is “Of course, I could not die before my book is out.”

Now, I’m not saying my need to see my published book created a miracle. Honestly, I had very little to do with the saving of my own life that night. But I can’t help thinking that deep down, the idea that I had something to see, something I’d worked so hard for that I could not die before realizing, helped to pull me through. When I think about how close I came to not waking up that morning, my brain shuts down and I can’t even comprehend it. All I know is that, thanks to my husband and doctors, I made it through. And let me tell you something, I’m not going to waste their work. I have some awesome ideas for this book you’re not going to believe, and I can’t wait to get back to work and try my hand at this whole mommy-writer thing.

One thing’s for certain, though: at the risk of sounding like a gushing new mom, he was totally worth the hassle.

Happy holidays, everyone! Keep safe, keep writing, and keep what matters close at heart.


11 Responses to ““I can not die before my book is published””

  1. 1 nojojojo
    December 25, 2009 at 9:44 am

    Holy. Shit. Talk about a Christmas miracle.

    I’m unbelievably glad to hear you’re all right, and the baby is all right, and not just because you’ve got a book coming out! (Screw the book — you can’t die before I meet you in person =P) But yes, eclampsia is way scary and you are indeed lucky.

    But what a present, huh? He’s beautiful.

  2. December 25, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Oh my god!! Thank everything your husband was on the ball! And congrats on being a mommy! He’s beautiful. 🙂

  3. 3 Tim Pratt
    December 25, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    Wow! Glad to hear you and the boy are okay!

  4. 4 Lindsay
    December 25, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    Geeez lady — you know I was FREAKED when your husband sent us that email. Been thinking about you nonstop, and I’m so glad you’re okay. BECAUSE I WANT MORE STORY… I mean… because you’re awesome and stuff. 🙂

    Nathan is precious! And that’s a great name!

  5. December 25, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    Now that’s what I call a Christmas miracle! I’m so glad you and little Nathan are doing well! And yes, you have a seriously awesome husband!


  6. December 25, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    Congratulations on a beautiful baby boy! And think your husband wins Husband of the Year for saving both of you! I love a happy ending. 🙂

  7. 7 rachelaaron
    December 26, 2009 at 1:18 am

    Aww, thanks SO MUCH for all the well wishes, everyone! I seriously can not say how awesome and supportive everyone has been through all of this. I feel so loved and blessed and lucky. I’ve been discharged from the hospital and am now home. Nathan’s still in the NICU and will be for a few weeks at least (he is -1 month, after all!), but he’s eating well and breathing on his own and I couldn’t be happier!

    Thanks everyone again for the well wishing, it means the world to me!

    – Rachel

  8. 8 Terri-Lynne
    December 26, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    Wow. What more is there to say that hasn’t already? Glad you are now safe, that Nathan is now gracing the world with his glorious presence, and that that which did not kill you has made you stronger (and even more creative!)

    Whenever you can take something positive from a negative event, you’ve tipped the blanace in further in favor. Terrible thing–but so much positive to take from it–not the least of which being a baby boy!!!

  9. 9 mlronald
    December 26, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    Holy crap! That’s terrifying and amazing and — yow. (And baby! Small cute! Yay!)

    Congratulations on the beautiful small one, and best wishes for your recovery — and most of all, we’re all so glad that you’re all right!

    (Also, seconded on no dying until we get to meet in person. Or even after that, for that matter.)

  10. December 28, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    Wow. You have an awesome husband (and now an beautiful baby – congratulations!). Is it horrible of me that I snorted when that was the first thing you thought? Probably because that is exactly what I would be thinking too. Glad you’re safe and well.

  11. 11 Jane Okpala
    January 7, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    My mom just passed along the news. Congratulations, and I am so glad that you, your husband, and the baby are doing well!


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